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Record Breaker/Transcript
Open to shot of suburbs* Mark: *Pushing rock in front of giant red band and kneels on top of it.* This should be enough, is the net set up, Klask? *Cut to net between two forest trees* Klasky: All set. *gives thumbs up* Mark: I need to lift this rock veeeerrry caaarefuuully...*slowly lifts rock with feet dug in mud* Abigal: *Walks by the yards and waves* Hey. *Generic Love Music Plays* Mark: *lifts rock quickly* H-h-*is cut off by the giant band knocking him away* *Mark flies into a house, a powerline, a building window, a building wall, a field of maize, a tractor, and the roof and a house, sending him flying into the woods* Mark: *Hangs onto branches with arm* Ugh...*SNAP SNAP* Oh... *SNAP* Mark: *Falls in front of tree severely injured* Eh-eh-eh-eh Klasky: Hey, at least you can get the record for most injuries in 12 seconds. *Magical spiral surrounds Mark and heals him* Mark: Yeah, but that won't impress Abigal. And someone already got it. *pulls out book and points to picture of burning skull putting his thumb bone up.* Klasky: Well good luck. *walks away* Mark: WAIT, NO, DON'T LEAVE ME. *Cuts to Mark on a curb with a cardboard cup with a 5'o clock shadow* Mark: Spare change? Spare change anyone? Klasky: *Walks along curb and sees Mark* Mark? What happened? Mark: After you left 20 years ago, I was left to fend for myself on the street, begging for money, but to no avail. Klasky: It's only been 4 minutes. Mark: *Head enlarges as he screams in Klaskys face* You weren't there, man. YOU DIDN'T KNOW. Mark: *Head shrinks back down* Hmm, what is there for a 9 year old to do....maybe the most cats swallowing other cats swallowing me? Klasky: No. Mark: Dogs? Klasky: No. Mark: Fish? Klasky: No. Mark: Sharks? Klasky: Oh no Mark: How about the most air inhaled? Nah, that wouldn't be measurable... How about the most water inhaled?...Nah, that's not fair, I can hold my breath for 3 hours... Klasky: *Flails arms furiously* Mark: *snaps* I GOT IT. *Klasky sighs with his head down while Mark grabs a book, flips pages and points* Mark: The most highly combustible lights strapped, and shined, onto you while wearing polyester cotton in a wooden warehouse. I mean, what could possibly go wrong? *Klasky slowly turns to the camera and turns back.* *Cuts to man standing on ladder outside warehouse.* Mive O'Hallen: Coooome on down, to see young Mark Miller attempt the most dangerous stunt yet, wearing and being shined with the most highly combustible lights in a wooden warehouse...wearing polyester cotton! Klasky: *Whispering* Are you sure you want to go through with this? Mark: Yes, no matter the risk of death, I WILL impress Abigal. Klasky: *rolls eyes* Glad to see your priorities are in order. Mike O'Hallen: So, you ready kid? Mark: *nods head* Mive O'Hallen: Good, because no one bails out on Mive O'Hallen! Mark:*to Klasky as Mive walks away* Now I have a motive. Klasky: *Stares up and darts his eyes back to Mark* Meeow. *Klasky walks away on all fours into the crowd.* Mive O'Hallen: Aaaand start the clock, you must endure 3 minutes. *Mark thinks in head* 3 minutes? That's like...2+2=42.....carry the z..... That's 64 days! I can't wait that long! *sniffs* What's that smell...it smells like fried stupidity.... *Outside of Marks head* *Camera zooms out to see Mark on fire* Mark: Oh. Mark: AHHH! *Runs around in circles setting the warehouse on fire* *Warehouse collapses as the crowd looks on with horror* Mive O'Hallen: Aaaand THAT'S TIME, HE DID IT. *Crowd cheers* Mark: *Pops head out of rubble* Ugh...I did it, YES! *Jumps in air and falls back down* *Crowd looks on with confused and disgusted faces while parents cover their children's eyes* Mark: Huh? *Looks down* AHHH! *Camera zooms out to see a piece of falling wood covering Mark's crotch*He he... *Mark tiptoes away embarrassed* *Cuts to shot of sun setting and Mark and Klasky walking into the suburbs* Mark: Well, turns out that record didn't count at all since there was no official witness, so I wasted 100 bucks. Klasky: Cheer up, Mark. There's plenty of things you can do. Like your abnormally large pain threshold. Mark: Oookay. Klasky: *Slightly annoyed* Your extremely ill masculine voice. Mark: Also true. Klasky: And, I don't know, maybe, THE FACT YOU CAN HOLD YOUR BREATH FOR THREE HOURS?!?! Mark: I don't see your point. Klasky: ...Not to mention despite your above average IQ, you LACK SIMPLE PROBLEM SOLVING SKILLS!! Mark: *Eyes squinted in suspicion* Where are you going with this? Klasky: *Face turns red* Ahhhhh AHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Mark: Shh, it's Abigal. Abigal: Oh, uh, hi Mason. Mark: Mark. Abigal: Kirk. Abigal: I saw you break that record, it was pretty cool, ya know, not burning to death and chez... Abigal: Here, it's my number, hold on to it. *Walks away* Mark: Klask, I got here number, cool! And they say kids aren't charming. *Opens paper and find the number 47 imprinted small in the middle* Mark: Huh? Category:Episode Transcripts